Nomadic Ramblings

As the bus drove through the main, road a loud bang was suddenly heard! The people at the front stuck their heads to the windows to get a better look. The people at the back crowded round their own windows to have a better view. The driver put his hazard lights on and stopped.

Those in the middle started murmuring and asking what the matter was.

Woman at the front: A car just hit a little boy.

Woman at the back: The driver could not break in time.

Man at the front: He was going too fast.

Man at the back: The boy came out of nowhere.

Woman at the front: It was the driver's fault.

Man at the back: It was the little boy's fault.

Man at the front: The driver should have slowed down.

Woman at the back: He was going at the required speed and had no time to slow down.

Man in the middle: Well, if the boy came out of nowhere then it must be his fault. This is a main road and the driver must have been going at the required speed.

Woman at the front: One day, these crazy young drivers are going to kill us all.

Woman at the back: I feel sorry for the poor driver. Can you imagine how he's feeling now?

Man at the front: How do you think the poor boy feels? How do you think his family feels?

Man at the back: His family should have taught him how to cross the road properly. It's partly their fault that he's lying there now soaking in his own blood.

Woman at the front: Is the driver related to you or something?

Man at the back: Fair is fair, my dear lady.

Man at the front: What is fair about killing young children?

Woman at the back: Don't twist things and make it sound like murder please. It was an accident and the kid was at fault.

Woman at the front: It is murder if the child dies.

Man at the back: You are taking things out of all proportions. If the child dies it would be accidental murder at best.

Man at front: Still murder though.

Woman at back: Would you be saying the same thing if the victim was an adult rather than a child?

Woman at front: I would say the same if it were a darn cat.

Man at back: Well, it is not the driver's fault. We at the back had a good view of the accident and clearly saw the child run in front of the car.

Man at front: No. We had a much better view at the front and saw how fast the driver was going.

Man in the middle: I bet the bus driver had a better view than most. What do you think, driver?

Driver: I did not see anything. I was daydreaming about when my shift will end.

Woman at front: See? All drivers are just dangerous. I bet the other driver was also daydreaming about something or another before hitting that poor child.

Driver: In thirty years of driving I have never had a single accident.

Man at the back: Don't listen to her. This lady has her own agenda and is trying to distort things.

Woman at the back: That's obvious. It is shameful to take advantage of such a sad situation.

Man at the front: She is right though. Most drivers are only interested in how nice their cars are and how fast they can go instead of public safety and careful driving.

Man at the back: That is not true.

Man at the front: Look at his car, mate. It is a brand new Porsche! Do you think someone that drives such a fast car, bought it because of its safety record? He is obviously a speed nut.

Woman at the back: What has his car got to do with anything?

Woman at the front: You can tell a person by the car they drive. Most drivers are egotistical maniacs.

Man at the front: Indeed. He is driving a Porsche, my good lady. If that means anything, it shows that he has more money than sense. I despise these spoilt rich kids.

Man at the back: You are using your prejudices to analyse this accident.

Man in the middle: Sounds like it to me.

Woman in the middle: Does the driver look like an irresponsible person? Can you really judge just by looking at him?

Woman at the front: Actually, he just came into view. He looks like a middle-aged man.

Man at the front: He does not look like the type that would drive such an expensive car!

Man at the back: He looks like a university professor or something.

Woman at the back: Poor man looks distraught.

Woman at the front: What's poor about that? He just killed a child!

Man in the middle: If he does not look like someone who would drive this kind of car then maybe he borrowed it and was struggling to work out how to drive it. These sorts of cars are very tricky.

Man at the front: If that is true, he really should not have tried to test it in a public road. Don't put other people's lives at risk just because you want to try a fast car.

Woman at the front: True.

Woman at the back: This is mere speculation. For all we know it might be his car.

Man at the back: Exactly. Besides, he would have hit that kid even if he were riding a bicycle instead of a Porsche.

Woman in the middle: I wish he were riding a bicycle.

Man at the front: I wish he were not, the child murderer.

Man at the back: Stop calling him that.

Man at the front: Don't order me around. Come and stop me if you can.

Man at the back: I have too much respect for the ladies present to start a fight with you.

Man at the front: Stop ordering me around then.

Man at the back: Just shut up and carry on talking the rubbish you were spouting all day.

Man at the front: How about I come over and reconstruct your face instead?

Man at the back: I would like to see you try.

Man in the middle: Gentlemen, gentlemen, stop this silly argument.

Man at the front: He started it, the big-mouthed coward.

Man at the back: I'll show you what a big-mouthed coward looks like


They jump on each other and start to fight. The middle man and the driver attempt to stop them. The police, who turned up to attend to the accident, see them and get on the bus to stop the fight.

Policeman: What do we have here then?

Woman at the back: He started it (pointing at the man at the front).

Woman at the front: No. He threw the first punch (pointing at the man at the back).

Woman at the back: Are you his wife or something?

Woman at the front: Fair is fair, madam.

Woman in the middle: There really was no need for all this trouble.

Man at the back: He was being aggressive towards me and I hit him in self-defence.

Woman at the back: Exactly.

Man at the front: We were having an argument and he got violent and used his fists.

Man at the back: You dared me to do it you coward.

Man at the front: Yes I did and I will again if you ever call me a coward again.

Policeman: Simmer down, gentlemen.

Woman in the middle: Is the child from the accident dead, officer?

Policeman: No. He's fine. He only has minor bruises.

Woman at the front: Was it the crazy driver's fault?

Woman at the back: Of course it were not.

Woman at the front: Was I speaking to you, lady? I was asking the officer. Mind your own business please.

Woman at the back: MAKE ME!

Man at the front: You people are very aggressive.

Man the back: Us people? You're a racist too?

Woman at the front: Oh here we go. The minute they get a chance they pull out the race card!

Woman at the back: I knew it. I just knew it.

Policeman: Everyone clam down please.

Man in the middle: This is getting silly. When is this bus going to be allowed to move? I have an urgent appointment in half an hour.

Driver: As soon as the police tell me to go, sir.

Woman at the back: Doubt if he'll allow you to go now. He needs to deal with that racist couple first.

Woman at the front: I am not racist, you opportunistic peasant.

Man at the back: Not just racist, you're an elitist too.

Man in the middle: I don't know about that, my friend. Do elitists take the bus?

Man at the front: Everyone is allowed to take the bus.

Woman at the back: Haha! He didn't understand what elitist means.

Woman at the front: And I suppose a peasant like you does?

Man at the back: Enough of that, lady.

Policeman: This is your last warning. If you people don't stop fighting I will be forced to arrest the lot of you.

Driver: How long before I move, officer? My shift ends in less than an hour.

Policeman (getting really fed up with all the noise): You can go now, mate. If any of these people fight again just drop them at the nearest police station.

The policeman gets off. The driver drives off and everyone gets back to their seats.

At the next stop, a new man gets on and goes to sit in the back of this quite and ordinary bus without realising how much the passengers hate each other.