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Thursday, October 01, 2009 

Qamar's Qarxis!

Consider the case of poor little Qamar and her infamous Qarxis!

There she was, sixteen years of age. Pretty. Intelligent. Hard working. Sociable. But she had one bad habit; she always went home after eight o’clock even though her father had warned her about it several times.

In his youth, Mr Ducale was a computer buff. He was a founding member of the first generation of Somalis to use the Internet and was popular in many forums, chartrooms and newsgroups. He was so obsessed with the Internet that even his love life revolved around it. It was there that he met Mrs Ducale. Chatted up Mrs Ducale and fell in love with Mrs Ducale! They got married three months after meeting. They were both twenty years old!

25th May 2009 was the darkest day in Qamar’s short life. It was not a bad day to begin with. She woke up early, had her breakfast, got dressed and went to school. After an uneventful day at school, she went to her friend’s house where they sat chatting and surfing the net. As usual, she got carried away and stayed at her friend’s house way beyond her eight o’clock curfew!

When she returned home and walked into the living room, her father who was sat at his computer and having a heated argument with a suspect child on a net forum, swivelled in his chair and gave her a severe look.

Qamar: Sorry daddy. I know I was late but there was a traffic accident and the bus was late and I had to walk half way and I would have been here on time but I can’t control traffic and I....

Mr D: ENOUGH! You are late again and no matter how many reasons you give you are not going to get away with it this time.

Qamar: I am really, really, really sorry.

Mr D: It is too late for that. I have tried to punish you in the past by sending you to your room, but it didn’t work. I have reduced your allowance, but it didn’t work. I have banned you from going out, but it didn’t work. Now I am going to use the only method available to me.

Qamar: What? Dad, I am truly, honestly, really really sorry. I promise I will not do it again.

Mr D: I already told you, your apologies make no difference to me now. No, this punishment of mine is going to make you wish if you were dead.

Qamar: Please, dad, please. I am really sorry.

Mr D: Don’t tell me that. Tell it to all your friends when I start publishing your photos on YouTube.

Qamar: You’re going to put my pictures on YouTube?

Mr D: And Facebook, Hi5 and every other site Somalis use. Since you refuse to follow my rules, I am going to play by your rules, daughter. I am going to ‘qarxis’ you.

Qamar: You are going to do that to your own daughter? Your own daughter?

Mr D: You are not better than your mother, Qamar. How do you think me and her got to know each other?

Qamar: You exposed your own wife? Why has nobody told me this?

Mr D: Because it is none of your business. Now stop turning this into a conversation, as if we are friends or something. I have warned you about your conduct and you chose to ignore my warnings. Suffer the consequences, dear.

Qamar: But, dad....please dad..don’t do it, dad..I’ll be a good girl, dad..

Mr D: No use in crying now. If you listened to me in the first place you wouldn’t be crying now.

Qamar: I swear dad..I swear I will be good. Give me one more chance.

Mr D: Hmmm.

Qamar: One more chance dad. I am your only daughter, why would you want to do this to your only daughter?

Mr D: Because my only daughter never listens. Because my only daughter acts like a big woman who can handle anything. Because my only daughter needs to be taught a lesson.

Qamar: Please dad. Please! .................... ..Hoyooooooooooooooo ooooooo!


Mrs D walks in and asks what the matter was.

Qamar: He wants to expose me on YouTube!

Mrs D: WHAT?

Mr D: She needs to be taught a lesson, dear. She never listens to us.

Mrs D: But, YouTube? Don’t you think that’s a bit excessive?

Mr D: She needs to be taught a lesson I said.

Mrs D: Let her off this time. Use a different punishment and if she repeats the offence, I personally will put her pictures on YouTube!

Qamar: I will not do it, I promise. I will listen and be here before eight, I promise.

Mr D: Fine. You are lucky your mother managed to convince me. But I still have to punish you.

Qamar: Anything but YouTube, dad.

Mr D: Very well. For the next two weeks, you are not allowed to go anywhere other than school. I want you home all the time. You are grounded.

Qamar: Ok, dad. I am really really sorry.


Qamar behaved herself for a month afterwards and was always home before eight. However, one day there was a real traffic accident and the bus was really late! She got home at half past eight and all hell broke loose.

Now the whole world can see videos and pictures of a naked Qamar with her legs up in the air (albeit a three-month-old having her nappy changed). They can see pictures of her when she lost her milk teeth and other photos when she’s not wearing the most colour coordinated items of clothing. There are videos of her singing childish songs with snot trickling down her lips and others where she’s having a juvenile tantrum and banging her fists against the floor..........